I played the song, Little Willow, to Mom in the early morning hours on the day she passed away. I used to sing it to her when she got restless and combative at the worst times of her dementia. I've played the CD at home so many times, I'm sure my family knows all of the words by heart. I've even planted a little willow tree in our back yard in Mom's honor. It's a fragile little thing, but it bends in the harsh winds. I can't help but worry about it. I wish it would grow strong and tall. It is one of the things that connects me to Mom, so I don't want to lose it. Sometimes I see myself as a little willow tree.
Today Mindy found a video that tells the story about why Paul McCartney wrote Little Willow. Anyway, push play, and listen to Little Willow.
(push pause on the music list on the side of the page)
Little Willow
by Paul McCartney
Bend, little willow
Wind's gonna blow you
Hard and cold tonight
Life, as it happens
Nobody warns you
Willow, hold on tight
Nothing's gonna shake your love
Take your love away
No one's out to break your heart
It only seems that way... hey
Sleep, little willow
Peace gonna follow
Time will heal your wounds
Grow to the heavens
Now and forever
Always came too soon
Little willow
Nothing's gonna shake your love
Take your love away
No one's out to break your heart
It only seems that way... hey
Bend, little willow
Wind's gonna blow you
Hard and cold tonight
Life, as it happens
Nobody warns you
Willow, hold on tight
Ah, little willow
Thank you my dear girl for sharing this tender moment with your Mother. The song is so beautiful and such meaning in which it was written. I planted and small grouping of river willows from the edge of a pond so they wouldn't be destroyed by the ponds renovation. It now thrives atop the hollar in my backyard taking the harsh weather and high winds now for the third year. Hugs and tender kiss on the cheek. Luv ya.
ReplyDeleteYou can visit my Chicken Doodle Coop and see my chicks....
http://doodlecoop.blogspot.com/
Nancy, you don't know me at all but we have some friends in common and I noticed a comment you made on Marge's blog about "packratting" (I just made up that word, sorry). In your comment you were talking about your mom and her passing and the perfume she wore. I can't tell you how touched I was, and then I went to your If I Had Words blog and totally crumbled. Whew. Now I'm here and I swear, I don't think I'll have any eyes left by tomorrow since they're now so swollen from tears. You see, my mom passed away a year ago. I was her sole (and soul) caregiver and it was in my arms when she died. I moved back into my childhood home 1 month prior in order to care for her and I am still here. I will never move. Her scent is still in her closet and I find myself even to this day opening that door and burrowing my face into the last of her clothes. Well, all this was just an inkling of the emotions that your comment brought out of me tonight. Add to that the pets -- yours, mine -- oh good lord, I need Kleenex. Sometimes it's a good thing to cry so hard though. I've not had the time to really grieve yet (soooo much paperwork, etc, to take care of), but when that time comes, I think I'm going to be in for big trouble. I don't even know why I'm typing all of this except that I know you, of all people, get it. Thanks for posting all you did. It was heartbreakingly beautiful.
ReplyDeleteToodie, it brings me great joy to know that you have willows on the edge of your pond. I can't wait to take a peek at your chickens.
ReplyDeleteJenny, I feel your pain. I haven't written at the If I Had Wings blog for a long time because it was such a deep mourning period, I had to stop making everyone else so sad. You're never the same when you lose someone that you love dearly, are you? It's good that you have the luxury of going to her closet to smell the essence of your mother. I felt so lucky when I found the perfume that Mom wore near the end of her life. It's a funny thing, how a smell or a song can bring us a connection to them. I'm sorry that your pain is still so strong. You do need to let yourself grieve. There is no wrong or right way to mourn, Jenny. There are no time limits, and it is good to cry. She was (and is) your mother. You cared for her, which is so difficult and yet such a gift at the same time. It is big trouble when it hits you. I wish I could take that away from you. But I can tell from everything that you've said that you will get through it. I know that we've never met, but I'll be happy to listen if you ever need a shoulder to cry on because I do know how you feel. It's been almost 2 years and sometimes I miss Mom so much it literally causes pain in my heart. How lucky you and I are to have mothers that we loved enough to mourn this way. I believe with all my heart that they are waiting for us in the heavens, our sweet guardian angels. Thank you for your kind words. You brought tears to my eyes, but they are good tears.
Nancy, you are so dear to take the time to respond to my note to you. Yes, you are right in every word you said to me. Some days I wish the time would hurry up so that it wouldn't hurt so badly, but then I know I need to go the route like anyone else. I also understand when you said you had to stop writing about it because it was too sad and putting too much on others. That's the way I feel, and so I hold it in and then burst at the most inopportune times. I never in my wildest dreams thought any of this would ever happen. You know how it is: you think you will stay the same and your mom will stay the same -- everything will stay the same and the aging and endings only happen to others. Then the day comes and no matter how you've prepared, it's never close to enough and the pain is SO deep that there doesn't even seem to be a bottom, it's just endless. I'm sorry, I just miss her so. I'd give anything to have brothers or sisters and not be the last of my family. Just tough. But you were so sweet and loving in your words and for that, Nancy, I send a million thank yous your way. It's a big help knowing that you understood it all.
ReplyDeletexoxoxo
when my daughter died I planted a willow in my yard, and another willow when my x father-in-law died.. the land they were planted on is now sold.. and there is a huge hotel there now.. but both of the willow's that were planted are still there.. and they have gotten so huge.. and beautiful.. I think they bring peace to the weary travelers, looking for a place to rest..which brings me peace.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you planted your willow for your mom Nancy.. they are beautiful trees.. and this one will always bring you peace..
I hope your Christmas is special this year..
thinking of you.. and sending some warm soft hugs your way..
Hope, how sweet that you planted willow trees in memory of your loved ones. Great minds think alike. I joke about it, but it brings me comfort to know that you've done the same thing that I did for my mother. We are kindred spirits. But we already knew that, right? I hope you have a joyous Christmas. Love you.
ReplyDelete