Mindy, my sweet girl, said "Mom, I found your theme song." I laughed, of course, imagining all of the crazy directions that theme could go. But Mindy surprised me. She knows me better than I thought.
A few months before I had my first Post Traumatic Stress episode, I was taking a class at the U. of U. called The Psychology of Childrens' Literature. It was a fantastic class that taught me how books can teach children important life lessons in a subtle, gentle way. On the first day of class, the professor asked us all to say which animal represented out personality. Some people said magnificent animals, like tigers, eagles, lions, and bears. Others said dogs or cats. I said that I was a bunny rabbit. In my thinking, it was a perfect choice. I was soft, round and fluffy. I did not hunt other animals, and I was a peaceful creature. (One would think, as much as I love horses, that I would have chosen to be a horse.)
When the professor heard my answer, he laughed and said, "Awww, timid little creature. Watch out for those predators!"
A couple of months after that I saw a face that triggered memories blocked way back in my brain, and that's when my life fell apart.
So when Mindy gave me my theme song, I wondered, how did she know? The gentleness of Matt Duke's song is my favorite kind of music, and the lyrics have fit my life at one time or another. I'd like to think that this shy rabbit has more courage now than when my strange journey called agoraphobia began.
Don't forget to push pause on the music playing (on the right column).
Rabbit
by Matt Duke
Every sentiment hangs around
No longer than a minute or two
I find I keep falling for love
But I can't seem to follow it through
So run, little rabbit, run
I leave one good hand on the wheel
Been counting mile markers for days
Everything falls further behind
I can disappear in several ways
So run, little rabbit, run
Sleep through the morning
Don't wake me up
Sleep through the morning
One little man to one mighty sun
Try to break away from yourself
Throw your broken bones in a heap
All the blood and guts are exposed
Your spirit has been begging to leave
Thanks, Mindy. I love you.
